A Scandal In Germany
by LittleGingerBiscuit
Summary: Sherlock's held at gunpoint in Germany - who does he text to get him out of this situation? And how will John react to being yanked out of his date? One-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! Ok so basically, I am the luckiest person ever right now :D I was on Omegle, and someone put out the question prompt _'John, I need you. I'm alone and it's dark. I'm in Germany. Call me - SH'. _And I just happened to be discussing this question with the coolest person I've ever met on Omegle. He or she (I never really did find out) just jumped right in and started roleplaying Sherlock with me. It was so awesome! It went on for ages and it was honestly the most fun I've had on a Saturday night in a long time. So when he or she needed to log off, I decided it was too good to waste. So here is an exact copy of our roleplay. Enjoy, I know I did!**

sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~

John, I need you. I'm alone and it's dark. I'm in Germany. Call me. -SH

**What? - JW**

**Are you joking? - JW**

**Sherlock, I'm on a DATE - JW**

Then stop being on a date and come here. -SH

**Do you know how long it takes to get from London to...wherever the hell you are in Germany? - JW**

I am unable to be precise but I would say a few hours. I can wait. -SH

**Why are you even there? - JW**

A case. I did tell you. Irrelevant now. Are you on your way? -SH

**I don't think you did tell me, Sherlock. And no, I'm still at the Chinese with Sarah - JW**

I did tell you. I told you two days ago. It is hardly my fault that you weren't listening, John. Tell Sarah that you've got more important things to do. -SH

**I was in Bristol two days ago! And I can't, she's taking a phone call in the toilet. Maybe she has an insane flatmate, too - JW**

I am not insane, John; I am in need of your assistance and find your lack of urgency quite irritating. I need you here. -SH

**Hang on - Mycroft has a whole army of private jets he could deploy for you with one phone call, but instead you call your powerless flatmate? - JW**

Mycroft won't help me. Something about forging a few documents in his name... again, irrelevant. Do not waste time asking stupid questions. -SH

**Forging documents? What on Earth have you done now? - JW**

What I have done is not important now, John. It's over and I find myself in the unpleasant position where I have to ask you to help me. How close to the Airport are you now? -SH

**Still at the Chinese. Look, I know you're not going to let this go, so I guess I'll have to come and help you. How do I get rid of Sarah? - JW**

You are asking me how to deal with Sarah? My god you're hopeless. Just leave. -SH

**I can't just leave, Sherlock. And I'm not hopeless! I'll have you know, a lot of women want to go out with me. Just tell me how to get rid of her - JW**

A lot of women want to dump you once they have gone out with you, too. For goodness sake, just tell her the flat is on fire or something. -SH

**The flat's on fire. That's what you want me to say? - JW**

You asked for my advice, that is what it is. Really, John; what more do you want from me? I am freezing my bloody fingers off and you're fretting over some woman who - to be quite frank - wears enough perfume to raise the dead. -SH

**...Sarah does wear a lot of perfume... - JW**

Yet another reason I do not like her in the flat. -SH

**Another reason? What are the others? - JW**

...John, your low level of distress at my original message is disheartening. I blame your limited brain capacity, and I will consequently recap: I am in Germany. It is dark. It is cold. I need your help. Do you think that, in this given situation, I am happy to list off the incredibly extensive reasons as to why I do not like Sarah? -SH

**Look, if I tell Sarah I'm leaving now, do you promise to list off the reasons while I'm on my way to the airport? - JW**

Fine. -SH

**Good. Hang on a minute then - JW**

I don't have much of a choice, John. -SH

**jwhfwjebxiwhgeojieqoeegwjweo - JW**

**Ouch - JW**

Dare I ask? -SH

**I'm sure you can deduce. Sarah slapped me - JW**

**Perhaps telling her the flat was on fire when it was visible from the window wasn't the best idea - JW**

At least she's gone. -SH

**You're definitely being too optimistic about this - JW**

**Alright, I'm leaving now - JW**

**But I need to know where you are. I can't just catch a plane to the general German area - JW**

**...Sherlock? Are you going to tell me where I'm heading, or not? - JW**

John, I have a new request. Tell Mycroft that if he does not get someone here soon I may well reveal some precious government secrets in exchange for my life. -SH

**So you don't want ME to come anymore? - JW**

Not safe. Tell him. Got to go. -SH

**No! - JW**

**What do you mean, your LIFE? - JW**

**Sherlock, what the hell is going on? - JW**

in danger john. get mycroft. no time to answer questions. will get phone confiscated if noticed. cutting contact. - SH

**Sherlock! - JW**

**Sherlock, talk to me - JW**

**I can't get Mycroft unless I know where you are! - JW**

**Sherlock. Sherlock come on. Sherlock, I just bought a boarding pass. I'll be on a plane in five minutes. Just...who has you? - JW**

_John, I haven't heard from Sherlock for a while. Has he returned from his little trip to Germany? - MH_

**What do you mean his little TRIP, Mycroft? He's being held by...someone. He won't reply to me. - JW**

_Oh, dear. I suppose he underestimated the Germans. No need to fret, I will take care of it. Any reason to have Sherlock owe me a favour. - MH_

**He needs HELP, Mycroft! He said that if you didn't get someone to him soon, he'd exchange government secrets for his life - JW**

_He did, did he? Even more reason to get some people over there then. Do try to panic a little less, John. I am sure that Sherlock's loveable nature is going down a treat with his captors. -MH_

**Loveable nature? It's SHERLOCK. The only person who actually loves him is...nevermind. Forget I said anything - JW**

_Sarcasm does not translate well via text - my apologies. Don't worry, I've sent some people over. He'll be safe and sound in a few hours. - MH_

**It's a bit late for that now, Mycroft. I'm on a PLANE - JW**

_Then I will make sure you have a car waiting for you at the Airport and hotel reservations. I am sure Sherlock will be happy to see you when he has been retrieved. - MH_

**Look, I just want Sherlock back, alright? - JW**

_Of course you do. You would not have left your date quite so quickly if not. - MH_

**Well...I... - JW**

**What do you think you know about me and Sherlock? - JW**

_I know that you are his only friend, that he prefers your company to that of his own brother, and that he has become quite attached to you. I am sure that you have noticed how much he dislikes the women you bring home? - MH_

**He made my date slap me in the face, yeah. But...Molly has this idea in her head... - JW**

_I am sure she does. People have a tendency to involve themselves in other peoples affairs. Are you going to enlighten me to Miss Hooper's idea? - MH_

**If I must. She reckons Sherlock and I are a couple - JW**

_You are. - MH_

**...excuse me? I don't think you typed that right. You meant you say we areN'T, right? - JW**

_It was not a mistake, John. You are. Perhaps not in the traditional sense, but you are two of a kind. Unless Miss Hooper was speaking in a romantic sense, of course; that would be difficult considering your extensive list of dates. - MH_

**I'm not that bad! And she actually was talking in a romantic sense; her and the rest of the Yard put bets on how long it would take me to make out with him - JW**

_I see. My brother's love life is not my business, John. Although I think that Sherlock placed his own bet. - MH_

**Really? - JW**

**Not that I'm...not that I'm interested or anything - JW**

_Of course not. You point that out quite frequently. Alongside the women you're constantly bringing back, Sherlock - if he were interested - has likely got the message by now. - MH_

**...if I asked you something, would you answer it truthfully? - JW**

_It depends on the question. Ask. - MH_

**Is he actually interested? - JW**

_I do not know, John. - MH_

**You do. Of course you know. You're Mycroft Holmes. Just...tell me - JW**

_It is not my place to say. Maybe if you spent less time with those women and more time observing Sherlock's attitude concerning you, you may get the answer yourself. - MH_

**You think I LIKE spending time with those women? They reek of perfume, they're OBSESSED with 'feelings', and you can't get a word in edgeways. - JW**

_And yet you insist on meeting woman after woman. Are you trying to make Sherlock jealous? - MH_

**No, not at all. I have my reasons. - JW**

_Of course you do. I am sure that those reasons are going to lead you to happiness. Until then, Sherlock is safe and waiting for you. - MH_

**Is he? He's safe? What was going to happen to him? - JW**

_He was looking down the barrel of a gun. An average day for him, of course. - MH_

**He was going to be SHOT? Jeeesus – JW**

_Your blasphemy has been noted. Sherlock's waiting, John – MH_

**Right, of course. Has he got his phone back? – JW**

_I saw to it myself – MH_

_Any reason? – MH_

**I don't know where he is; I need to text him – JW**

_If you must. Goodbye, Doctor Watson – MH_

**Right. Bye – JW**

**Sherlock? Sherlock, are you alright? – JW**

Yes, John, I am fine – SH

**Oh, thank God – JW**

**Mycroft told me what happened – JW**

Snitching bastard. Where are you? – SH

**The airport. Mycroft left a car for me – JW**

Get in – SH

**Um…alright – JW**

**Sherlock! - JW**

****~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~sherlock~

**So how was that? I really loved the conversation while I was participating in it, so hopefully enjoyed reading it too. Please please PLEASE review! I like nice LONG reviews :D *hint hint* And for those of you who enjoyed this story, go to my profile and check out some of my other Sherlock fanfictions. So yeah. Thank you to the random Omegle stranger who supplied half this conversation (I was John, he or she was Mycroft and Sherlock). REVIEW!**


	2. AN

I feel bad for doing this. I really do. But I want to get it out there.

I have a tumblr blog!

boys-from-baker-street dot tumblr dot com

It's completely dedicated to Sherlock BBC, and the Sherlock Holmes films by Guy Ritchie. I post loads of gifs and videos, so you should check it out. Please follow me if you've got a tumblr account – I need the support because I'm just starting out.

Thanks!


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